This came up today on my Facebook page.
I just happened to mention it in work this afternoon during the “funny hour” that seems to happen from 3pm to 4pm.
In the blink of an eye, without any break in silence, someone, and she will rename nameless, shouted out “have a wank!”
I was in tears of laughter as it was unexpected from someone who is apparently so professional.
WARNING!
Facebook planning to start scanning your brain for private information through your computer monitor.
To stop this from happening, go to Kitchen -> Cabinets -> Upper Right Drawer -> then REMOVE the box that says ‘Aluminium Foil.’
Then wrap all foil around your head.
Share this to warn all your friends.
Sorry, I forgotten where I saw this originally 🙁
I thought I’d share these as I find them incredibly useful for social sharing especially.
Click and drag the bold header text onto your favourites bar.
javascript:document.location.href='http://www.stumbleupon.com/submit?url='+document.URL+'&title='+document.title.replace(/%20/g,'+');
Saves either a text selection or bookmarks the URL
javascript:(function()%7BSP_HOST%3D'http%3A%2F%2Fspringpadit.com'%3Btry%7Bvar%20x%3Ddocument.createElement('SCRIPT')%3Bx.type%3D'text%2Fjavascript'%3Bx.src%3DSP_HOST%2B'%2Fpublic%2Fclipper_inline.js%3F'%2B(new%20Date().getTime()%2F100000)%3Bdocument.getElementsByTagName('head')%5B0%5D.appendChild(x)%3B%7Dcatch(e)%7Blocation.href%3DSP_HOST%2B'%2Fclip.action%3Furl%3D'%2BencodeURIComponent(location.href)%2B'%26title%3D'%2BencodeURIComponent(document.title)%3B%7D%7D)()%3B
javascript:(function(){window.twttr=window.twttr||{};var D=550,A=450,C=screen.height,B=screen.width,H=Math.round((B/2)-(D/2)),G=0,F=document,E;if(C>A){G=Math.round((C/2)-(A/2))}window.twttr.shareWin=window.open('http://twitter.com/share','','left='+H+',top='+G+',width='+D+',height='+A+',personalbar=0,toolbar=0,scrollbars=1,resizable=1');E=F.createElement('script');E.src='http://platform.twitter.com/bookmarklets/share.js?v=1';F.getElementsByTagName('head')[0].appendChild(E)}());
javascript:var d=document,w=window,e=w.getSelection,k=d.getSelection,x=d.selection,s=(e?e():(k)?k():(x?x.createRange().text:0)),f='https://m.google.com/app/plus/x/',l=d.location,e=encodeURIComponent,u=f+'?content='+e(d.title)+e(' - ')+e(l.href)+'&v=compose&hideloc=1';a=function(){if(!w.open(u,'gplusshare','toolbar=0,resizable=1,scrollbars=1,status=1,width=450,height=295'))l.href=u;};if (/Firefox/.test(navigator.userAgent)) setTimeout(a, 0); else a();void(0)
javascript:var d=document,f='https://www.facebook.com/share',l=d.location,e=encodeURIComponent,p='.php?src=bm&v=4&i=1312735668&u='+e(l.href)+'&t='+e(d.title);1;try{if (!/^(.*.)?facebook.[^.]*$/.test(l.host))throw(0);share_internal_bookmarklet(p)}catch(z) {a=function() {if (!window.open(f+'r'+p,'sharer','toolbar=0,status=0,resizable=1,width=626,height=436'))l.href=f+p};if (/Firefox/.test(navigator.userAgent))setTimeout(a,0);else{a()}}void(0)
javascript:var%20d=document,w=window,e=w.getSelection,k=d.getSelection,x=d.selection,s=(e?e():(k)?k():(x?x.createRange().text:0)),f='http://www.tumblr.com/share',l=d.location,e=encodeURIComponent,p='?v=3&u='+e(l.href)%20+'&t='+e(d.title)%20+'&s='+e(s),u=f+p;try%7Bif(!/%5E(.*%5C.)?tumblr%5B%5E.%5D*$/.test(l.host))throw(0);tstbklt();%7Dcatch(z)%7Ba%20=function()%7Bif(!w.open(u,'t','toolbar=0,resizable=0,status=1,width=450,height=430'))l.href=u;%7D;if(/Firefox/.test(navigator.userAgent))setTimeout(a,0);else%20a();%7Dvoid(0)
javascript:var%20b=document.body;var%20GR________bookmarklet_domain='http://www.google.com';if(b&&!document.xmlVersion){void(z=document.createElement('script'));void(z.src='http://www.google.com/reader/ui/link-bookmarklet.js');void(b.appendChild(z));}else{}
javascript:(function(){ document.location.href='http://www.google.com/search?q=related:'+escape(document.location.href) })();
javascript:(function(){ document.location.href='http://mail.google.com/mail/?view=cm&fs=1&su='+escape(document.title)+'%20(link)&body='+escape(document.location.href) })();
javascript:(function(){var w=window;var d=document;var g=w.open('about:blank','gnotesWin','location=0,menubar=0,scrollbars=0,status=0,toolbar=0,width=300,height=300,resizable');var s=d.createElement('script');s.setAttribute('src','http://www.google.com/notebook/bookmarkletPoster?zx='+(new Date()).valueOf());d.body.appendChild(s);w.setTimeout(function(){w.blur();g.focus();}, 100)}).call({});
Finds the definition of text selection.
javascript:Qr=document.getSelection();if(!Qr){void(Qr=prompt('What%20definition%20do%20you%20want%20to%20search%20for%20on%20Google?',''))};if(Qr)location.href='http://google.com/search?query=define:'+escape(Qr)+'&num=10&sa='
Gives you a short url for the current page
javascript:void(location.href=%27http://digitalinspiration.com/tools/googl/?u=%27+encodeURIComponent(location.href))
Opens a site:url of the page you’re viewing
javascript:location.href='http://www.google.com/search?q=site:'+location.host
Search the Wikipedia with current selection of text or enter text in selection box
javascript:function se(d) {return d.selection ? d.selection.createRange().text : d.getSelection()} s = se(document); for (i=0; i<frames.length && !s; i++) s = se(frames[i].document); if (!s || s=='') s = prompt('Enter%20search%20terms%20for%20Wikipedia',''); open('http://en.wikipedia.org' + (s ? '/w/index.php?title=Special:Search&search=' + encodeURIComponent(s) : '')).focus();
javascript:location.href='http://validator.w3.org/check?uri='%20+%20document.location.href%20+%20%20'&doctype=Inline';
javascript:javascript:location.href='http://jigsaw.w3.org/css-validator/validator?uri='%20+%20document.location.href;
Removes all style sheets on current URL
javascript:var%20i=0;if(document.styleSheets.length%3E0)%7Bcs=!document.styleSheets%5B0%5D.disabled;for(i=0;i%3Cdocument.styleSheets.length;i++)document.styleSheets%5Bi%5D.disabled=cs;%7D;void(true);
I’ve always enjoyed writing. Ive got dozens of unfinished short stories going back nearly two decades.
During my therapy, my shrink suggested that I find and outlet for my frustration and anger instead of bottling it up and letting it fuck up my life.
Ok I thought, Ill give it ago so thats when I started blogging, then I was conned, well thats how I see it anyway, onto Facebook. Even now I fucking hate that web site. I dont document my life and Im as anti-social as they come so why the hell am I on Facebook?!
So once I got bored of that shite, I moved on to Twitter. After a few months of irritation at the pointlessness of it all, I left it. Then I rejoined. Then I left again, mainly because it just seemed I dealt with fundie fuckwitts and atheism 24/7 on there.
Im now on account number three, with a fresh determination to keep out of #atheism/#atheist and refusing to be drawn into other peoples battles.
And after two days, Im bored shitless of it all again.
Ive either turned into what youd a boring cunt, or hurtling towards 40 has turned me into just giving a shit about anything or anyone.
I’ve reached that point again in my online life where I’m bored shitless with being “social.” It’s not a natural thing for me, and it’s coming to the point where it feels like I’m forcing myself to be something I’m not happy with.
For a change, I can’t blame it on depression. The antics of the last week with arguments, accusations of bully, etc has soured the experience for me. Each day seems pretty much the same at the moment with no variation.
A few times this week I’ve almost deactivated my account, only to find that five minutes of piss taking sorts me out for a bit.
So, once again, if I disappear it’s nothing personal – just my head is fucked again.
I’ve just witnessed the Culture Secretary, and forgive me but the bastard was so boring to listen to I didn’t catch his name, has just called people who have sympathy of Raoul Moat “sick perverts”.
Well, excuse me Mr, erm, dullard politician for expressing empathy for a fellow human being who was ignored by those who are SUPPOSED to help people with mental health issues.
I’m glad to see Facebook didn’t give in to this pathetic interference from this pathetic government, although the owner of the group of FB should grow a pair of balls and not give in to easy but as always happens on the internet, more groups have spawned.
Hurrah!
Our erstwhile Prime Minister David Cameron, stood up in the House of Commons today and was asked about flowers left outside Raoul Moat’s house. What this has to do with Parliment is another question I’d like answered, but DC said “Raoul Moat was a callous murderer, full stop, end of story.” Yes he was a murderer, I agree but I can’t agree with his next statement that ”I cannot understand any wave, however small, of public sympathy for this man.”
I’m sorry Cameron, but you’re wrong. It’s blatantly obvious to ANYONE who has followed the story that Raoul Moat had serious mental health issues going back to July 2009 from tape recordings released by the family.
He was ill. He was ignored. He has my sympathy as much as the victims of his crimes do but then I’m even handed Mr Cameron. And not a Tory prick.
Exactly. I’m not exactly known for my people skills, being social or networking at the best of times, and apart from annoying the hell out of my nieces, what the fuck am I on there for?
Half my “friends” are people I work with and the other half consists of friends from when I was a kid (we’ll get to that part in a moment) and my wife’s friends because my wife is clever enough not to bother with an account on there! She went to an all girls school, so her friend invited me to join a group to celebrate that particular school, yeah great idea. Make me look like a creep eh, I’ll get “PEDO” tattooed across my forehead as well just to make sure¡
Since I joined Facebook, and I care so little I haven’t a clue how long it’s been, I’ve been bombarded by “friend” requests from all the “mates” in the little gang I was in. Well it’s a lovely thought, but it’s 23 years since I left school and my feelings towards them just isn’t the same. If I hadn’t been in contact with you in those 23 years, what the hell gives you the impression I want to “catch up” all of a sudden now? I don’t care, there are good reasons why we “lost contact” and one of main reasons is that I couldn’t fucking stand you then and couldn’t wait to leave school to get away from you!
And just how awkward in the message exchange?
“Hi”
“Hi”
“How are you?”
“Fine. Yourself?”
“Yeah good. We must catch up sometime?”
“Good idea.”
“See you around”
And that’s it! “catch up” means my memory has been jogged and I remember what a cock you were at school, bye bye.
So I have a cull of my “friends” every now and again to get rid of the wastes of space to can’t be arsed to stay in contact, even when we were “really good mates” at school.
Fuck em.
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