Sarky Marky

zero fucks given

Tag: duh (page 1 of 6)

Replacing a toilet roll is a difficult task

Squared Circle Self Portait.Well it must be because every fucking time I go in the bog there isn’t one on the fucking holder!

The toilet rolls are stored two feet but I guess it’s just too far for some of the lazy fucks in this office who can’t be arsed to reached two feet to their right to put a fresh one on.

And if that wasn’t enough, there is one bastard who thinks the toilet roll being on the toilet roll holder is a little too simple.

I mean, why have it there when you can place it elsewhere – like a few millimeters from the taps. Guess what the flaw in that plan is? Yep, a wet bog roll . Fucking genius.

@joecienkowski speaks with ill-founded confidence on dinosaurs

[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/#!/JoeCienkowski/status/127021582186053632″]

Oh really?

Are you sure about that Peachy?

Well perhaps you could explain what the NUMEROUS examples of what we would call “feathers” are around the dozens of fossils are. No rush, I know you’re incompetent researcher.

I know you prefer Yahoo Answers as a reliable source, but I prefer Wikipedia who has a good article on feathered dinos.

@joecienkowski conversion rate

I haven’t mention this fuckwitt for a while, mainly because I feel having a go constantly at Peachy is like beating up a defenceless animal.

So when @WestonLockley posts:

[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/#!/WestonLockley/statuses/125558544077553664″]

… “a light went off in the inside of my head” (that was a quote from Joe Cienkowski’s Grand Reality pamphlet, lots of jokes there to borrow). If anyone has bothered to go to Peachy’s Twitter home and managed not to self harm from reading his tweets, you should look at his lists. Predictably he has two, one atheist and one christian.

But what’s that as a description on the atheist list?

You’re shitting me? Yep, Peachy, as well as being Christianity’s “chief apologist” is also on a one man mission to convert Atheists. So after 45,000 tweets, how many conversions?

To the knowledge of Twitter, there has been a massive TWO conversions that can be attributed directly to Joe Cienkowski, but before you congratulate him there is a little detail that I missed.

The two conversions are from Christians and Agnostics AWAY from Christianity, not too it.

So, congratulations Peachy. Four self-published book fails, one wrecked marriage, one leaky trailer park trash roof, big debts, 45,000+ tweets, 1,100+ followers (who are mostly atheists taking the piss) and you’ve driven away two people.

Rapture Ready surpasses its own stupidity

Rapture Ready is a magnet for dimwitted, mentally crippled fundamentalist nutters, so while I was waiting for the first cretinous remark about neutrinos showing science being crap, I cam across this gem about the Italian scientists being prosecuted in Italy for failing to predict an earthquake.

I have another take on this issue. Maybe putting scientists on trial isn’t such a bad idea. For example – shouldn’t Evolutionary Biologists be put on trial for the Columbine shootings? Weren’t Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris merely acting on their belief that the origin of human life is merely an accident of nature – a fortunate assembly of molecules that gained the ability to self-replicate and then diversify through natural selection acting on beneficial mutations? Wasn’t this what their science textbooks proclaimed to them over and over as absolute unquestionable FACT – no longer open to debate or criticism?

When will THESE scientists be put on trial for the multitude of their crimes against humanity that have been a direct or indirect result of this empty and baseless philosophy? In America alone the rise of crimes, both violent and non-violent, are statistically relevant to when Evolution (as a means to explain origins) was introduced into public school curriculums. The contemporaneous removal of the 10 Commandments and prayer in schools only compounded the problem as is clearly evident by the same statistics.

Yet why aren’t THESE people put on trial? If seismologists in Italy can be blamed for failing to predict earthquakes (or actually, in this case for predicting no earthquake, when in fact, one happened), then why can’t we put evolutionary biologists, cosmologists, physicists, chemists, etc. on trial for failing our culture?! Clearly, there is more evidence against them than the evidence against the seismologists!

I say – sure, let’s put scientists on trial! Then we can get to the bottom of the mess that has resulted for the last 50 years in America.

Yay! @JoeCienkowski has finished his new pamphlet, I mean book

You know that because he’s whoring himself around the internet again.

[blackbirdpie id=”111385477273223168″]

I can’t wait to read it.

After the enduring mental torture and self-harming reading his previous pieces of shite, Jesus Christ is God (or whatever it’s called), Atheism is a Religion (or whatever it’s called) and the Grand Delusion Reality (or whatever it’s called), I’m hoping he’ll actually prove at the end of this book what he sets out to do on page 1 of it.

A tenner he mentions he’s a convicted drug dealer in the introduction. Any takers?

I’ll also wager it’s a complete rip off of Your People Shall Be My People by Don Finto.

Stormbringer’s Blunder: Modern Coliseums?

In his latest blog post from another blog entry, Stormbringer once again show’s he’s a complete sucker for any sob story without checking for references or the varasity of a yarn. In this instance it involves Saint Telemachus, so let’s hear Stormbringer’s version.

Chuck Colson tells the story of Telemachus, a 4th-century Christian monk. This man lived in a remote village, tending his garden and spending much of his time in prayer. One day he thought he heard the voice of God telling him to go to Rome, so he obeyed, heading out on foot. Weary weeks later, he arrived in the city at the time of a great festival. The little monk followed the crowd surging down the streets into the Colosseum. He saw the gladiators stand before the emperor and say, “We who are about to die salute you.” Then he realized these men were going to fight to the death for the entertainment of the crowd Telemachus cried out, “In the name of Christ, stop!”

As the games began, he pushed his way through the crowd, climbed his way over the wall, and dropped to the floor of the arena. When the crowd saw this tiny figure rushing to the gladiators and saying, “In the name of Christ, stop!” they thought it was part of the show and began laughing.

When they realized it wasn’t, the laughter turned to anger. As Telemachus was pleading with the gladiators to stop, one of them plunged a sword into his body. He fell to the sand. As he was dying, his last words were, “In the name of Christ, stop!”

Then a strange thing happened. The gladiators stood looking at the tiny figure lying there. A hush fell over the Colosseum. Way up in the upper rows, a man stood and made his way to the exit. Others began to follow. In dead silence, everyone left the Colosseum.

The year was 391AD, and that was the last battle to the death between gladiators in the Roman Colosseum. Never again in the great stadium did men kill each other for the entertainment of the crowd, all prompted by one tiny voice that could hardly be heard above the roar, one voice that spoke the truth in God’s name.

You know, it takes something to be the only voice. It takes guts to be the lone man or woman, sticking out in a crowd. It takes heart to speak out when it’s easier to keep still. It takes courage to stand up when you’re standing alone.

It sounds wonderful doesn’t it. A good Christian bringing an age of barbarity to an end.

Well thanks to a little known company called “Google” who have a “search engine”, we can find the original text which was written by Theodoret, Bishop of Cyrrhus.

Honorius, who inherited the empire of Europe, put a stop to the gladiatorial combats which had long been held at Rome. The occasion of his doing so arose from the following circumstance. A certain man of the name of Telemachus had embraced the ascetic life. He had set out from the East and for this reason had repaired to Rome. There, when the abominable spectacle was being exhibited, he went himself into the stadium, and, stepping down into the arena, endeavoured to stop the men who were wielding their weapons against one another. The spectators of the slaughter were indignant, and inspired by the mad fury of the demon who delights in those bloody deeds, stoned the peacemaker to death.
When the admirable emperor was informed of this he numbered Telemachus in the array of victorious martyrs, and put an end to that impious spectacle.

That’s weird. There’s no mention of the Colosseum, the cry of “in the name of Christ, stop!” or the crowd leaving. And would you believe it, even the method of death is wrong. It wasn’t a Gladiator that killed him with a sword but crowd stoned the bugger who because of his interruption!

Someone else has also pointed out that at the time of this incident, the Roman emperors where all… *drum roll please*…. CHRISTIANS by this time. Yay!

So basically, it’s a story that’s been added to for over 1,500 years and now it’s just a load of bollocks RWNJ like Ronald Reagan and Stormbringer repeat like fucking brainless parrots they are instead of doing VERY basic research that took all of five minutes to find the original source material.

It’s not the first time he’s done it today either. Alex has pointed out the errors on his other full of bullshit blog.

That’s what a sceptical mind does for you.

 

Atheists = Holocaust deniers

I just realised that atheist nerds use the same logic as holocaust deniers when arguing with believers

Probably the most stupid, dumbest thing I’ve heard this week on Twitter. Well done @Hannah.

How Christian apologists engage in CRAP

  • Claim God did this or that without any real evidence he did this or that.
  • Repeat the claim when asked for real evidence that any God did this or that
  • Accuse non-believers of this or that when they aren’t willing to accept the mere say so of ancient religious zealots as evidence for God doing this or that
  • Pretend that non-believers are all nasty, stupid, stubborn people because they refuse to buy the “snake oil” Christian apologists try to peddle as truth about God doing this or that.

Unashamedly pinched from CARM.

Sarah Palin vs the World

I saw this comic yesterday starring your favourite MILF Hockey Mom, and couldn’t believe what I was reading. It’s hilarious.

I hate socialist health care

Thanks to socialist health care, when I was born a month premature I got my own incubator for a spell.

Thanks to socialist health care I spent the first few months of my life in hospital fighting illness.

Thanks to socialist health care my brother helped beat leukemia as a child.

Thanks to socialist health care my father is still alive after two heart attacks and a stroke.

Thanks to socialist health care I get free eye tests every year because I am diabetic, and the eyes have the thinnest blood vessels and it’s easy to see any early signs of damage.

Thanks to socialist health care I get free prescriptions of medication for my diabetes.

Thanks to socialist health care I get free prescriptions of medication because our family has a history of heart trouble.

Thanks to socialist health care I get free prescriptions for everything to do with looking after my ileostomy.

Thanks to socialist health care I have an endoscopy every year to make sure the polyps on my duodenum and in my stomach are malignant.

Thanks to socialist health care neither me, my parents or my brothers were asked for payment for ANY of the above.

And so, thanks to socialist health care I am alive today to see right wing fuckers say that a socialist health care system is a bad idea.

Idiots.

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