A man was in court for double murder, when the judge turns to him and says “You are charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.”
“You bastard” a man screams from the back of the court.
Then the judge says “You are also charged with killing your mother-in-law said hammer.”
“You bastard” the same man screams from the back of the court.
At this point the Judge turns to the guy at the back of the court and says “Sir, I understand your anger and disgust at this crime but any more outbursts and I’ll have you held in contempt. Is that understood?”
The man stands and says, “I’m sorry your Honour but I’ve lived next to that bastard for fifteen years and every time I asked if I could borrow a hammer he said he didn’t have one!”