Facebook. Why am I on it?

Exactly. I’m not exactly known for my people skills, being social or networking at the best of times, and apart from annoying the hell out of my nieces, what the fuck am I on there for?

Half my “friends” are people I work with and the other half consists of friends from when I was a kid (we’ll get to that part in a moment) and my wife’s friends because my wife is clever enough not to bother with an account on there! She went to an all girls school, so her friend invited me to join a group to celebrate that particular school, yeah great idea. Make me look like a creep eh, I’ll get “PEDO” tattooed across my forehead as well just to make sure¡

Since I joined Facebook, and I care so little I haven’t a clue how long it’s been, I’ve been bombarded by “friend” requests from all the “mates” in the little gang I was in. Well it’s a lovely thought, but it’s 23 years since I left school and my feelings towards them just isn’t the same. If I hadn’t been in contact with you in those 23 years, what the hell gives you the impression I want to “catch up” all of a sudden now? I don’t care, there are good reasons why we “lost contact” and one of main reasons is that I couldn’t fucking stand you then and couldn’t wait to leave school to get away from you!

And just how awkward in the message exchange?
“Hi”
“Hi”
“How are you?”
“Fine. Yourself?”
“Yeah good. We must catch up sometime?”
“Good idea.”
“See you around”

And that’s it! “catch up” means my memory has been jogged and I remember what a cock you were at school, bye bye.

So I have a cull of my “friends” every now and again to get rid of the wastes of space to can’t be arsed to stay in contact, even when we were “really good mates” at school.

Fuck em.

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