Yes I shit you not, this is front page news on This is Exeter. I know fuck all happens down here, but seriously.
“Nine cases [of vampires] have been spotted in the county over the last century – more than in Dracula’s homeland of Transylvania.”
So Romanian’s only reported seeing eight vampires, while nine Devonians should be locked up for their own protection. FFS.
It gets better though,
“A total of 211 cases were reported across Britain, many resulting in police investigations.”
*rubs eyes* Did I just read that? These 211 people, who we could do without on this planet, phone the emergency services and said “I’ve seen a vampire”… and the police turned up. What the fucking fuck! “Arm yourself with garlic Bob, this could be a bad one.”
Famed “expert” Reverend Lionel Fanthorpe, says “our research suggests that the UK harbours more vampires than Transylvania.” Might I venture the opinion that is shows that Romanians know vampires are fucking fiction and are less gullible that the UK?