Tumblrtards : Otherkin

In my continuing series of combating depression by browsing the internet, I once again turn to Tumblr, home of the biggest bunch of special, narcissist fuckwitts.

We all love animals, I know I do… except cats. They can fuck right off. But let me introduce you to Otherkin.

Otherkin are people who think they are animals trapped in a human body, because being a plain old boring human being just doesn’t get the attention these idiots people crave, but let me give you a random example of what this is about. Brace yourself, this is going to blow your mind.

the lack of side vision that a human head has is so frustrating for me as a horse kin/therian. so is the lack of ability to tilt my ears! and hands and feet just don’t feel the same as the hooves i miss

facepalm-single

Yes, this wazzock is missing binocular vision, because you know, reasons.

Oh, and I might have misled you a little, when I said “animals trapped in a human body”, I actually meant “anything trapped in human form.” How about:

I’m the same as those 2 modern vampkin but I’m werewolfkin!

facepalm-double

Think someone might have been watching too much Twilight.

Name an animal, it’s out there: tigerkin, lionkin, dragonkin, all animals that are strong, powerful and graceful. But what if you have self-esteem issues? What if you’re a socially inept 40kg weaking living in your parents basement, they’ve got you covered. Meet slugkin.

Okay so im annoyed. I wish more people would be more inclusive of slugkin, you might think slugs are gross but you cant just discriminate!!

facepalm-triple

Does salt trigger you by any chance? Unsurprisingly, I couldn’t find any people identifying as a dung beetle, but give it time.

Some animals or whatever random shit these people think they are, have limited timespans. I mean if you are a hamsterkin, you’re going to be dead in three or four years. What happens then? Well that’s been thought of as well:

my kintype died and then came back as a ghost with a completely different personality and look. And its the hardest thing ever to describe him

Writing this shit, I’ve gone from pissing myself laughing to having so many facepalms that it looks like I’ve been involved in domestic violence.

But reading Tumblr, it makes me glad I’m me. I might suffer from depression and anxiety. I might avoid social situations like the plague, but never, even in the darkest pits of hell that my mind takes me, have I ever thought I might be a fucking slug.

Check out the Tumblrtards at http://kinfessions.tumblr.com and http://fictionkinfessions.tumblr.com.

Joe Cienkowski talks bollocks #24 : Obama and slandering Islam quotemine

Wow! That’s a hell of a quote, what do you think the odds are that that’s been taken completely out of context? I know, ninth commandment and all that.

So what did Obama ACTUALLY say in that speech?

The future must not belong to those who slander the prophet of Islam. But to be credible, those who condemn that slander must also condemn the hate we see in the images of Jesus Christ that are desecrated, or churches that are destroyed, or the Holocaust that is denied.

Gee, who saw that coming?

YAFS (Yet another Facebook scam) … allegedly

WARNING!

Facebook planning to start scanning your brain for private information through your computer monitor.

To stop this from happening, go to Kitchen -> Cabinets -> Upper Right Drawer -> then REMOVE the box that says ‘Aluminium Foil.’

Then wrap all foil around your head.

Share this to warn all your friends.

Sorry, I forgotten where I saw this originally 🙁

There goes another one

Photo by: Volkan Olmez

Looks like I’ve pressed the self-destruct button again and let another friendship go to shit again today, that’s the sixth one in six weeks. The other five friends I won’t miss that much, but this one… yes I think I will miss. Fuck! Maybe I should have put up more of a fight.

Stress and depression should stop me being on the internet and making AND doing such stupid things.

So much for “it’s the most wonderful time of the year.”

World of Batshit – #3: Chemtrailer Trash

Part three in a series examining some of the most ridiculous claims. In this part, we look at chemtrails.

WWII Public Domain’s channel:
https://www.youtube.com/user/WWIIPublicDomain

Under Section 30 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988, as amended, use of chemtard footage “for the purpose of criticism or review, of that or another work or of a performance of a work, does not infringe any copyright in the work provided that it is accompanied by a sufficient acknowledgement and provided that the work has been made available to the public.”

Melbourne Against Chemtrails March:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhDSdBUGcmQ

Jamnoise72’s channel:
https://www.youtube.com/user/jamnoise72

The squirt bottle warrior:
https://www.youtube.com/user/mrsquad11

Cider vinegar man’s channel:
https://www.youtube.com/user/LibranEsq

Dear WordPress hackers

To the hackers in Ukraine, Russia, Vietnam and China who are trying to hack my site… WHY?

I’m lucky to get 10 visitors a day, so I’m a little puzzled why you’d bother. I’m not sure what kudos you’ll get from the hacking fraternity by taking down this shitty web site, but thanks for noticing me.

P.S. As a WordPress developer, do you seriously think I’d have a user called admin as a user on this site? Or even as user ID 1? Or /wp-admin folder?

Good luck anyway.

Devon is a spooky hotspot. Really?

Yes I shit you not, this is front page news on This is Exeter. I know fuck all happens down here, but seriously.

“Nine cases [of vampires] have been spotted in the county over the last century – more than in Dracula’s homeland of Transylvania.”

So Romanian’s only reported seeing eight vampires, while nine Devonians should be locked up for their own protection. FFS.

It gets better though,

“A total of 211 cases were reported across Britain, many resulting in police investigations.”

*rubs eyes* Did I just read that? These 211 people, who we could do without on this planet, phone the emergency services and said “I’ve seen a vampire”… and the police turned up. What the fucking fuck! “Arm yourself with garlic Bob, this could be a bad one.”

facepalm-single

Famed “expert” Reverend Lionel Fanthorpe, says “our research suggests that the UK harbours more vampires than Transylvania.” Might I venture the opinion that is shows that Romanians know vampires are fucking fiction and are less gullible that the UK?