Oh just fuck off you slappers!

Just weeks after the Spice Girls split up after collecting their £10 million each for their super (haha!) world tour, they are threatening to reform (again?) to sing for Nelson Mandela at his 90th birthday celebration.

For fuck’s sake, hasn’t he suffered enough already?

He’s already met you when you even more annoying than you are now, why inflict your singing on the poor man AGAIN?

Just fuck off back to obscurity for another ten years when you’ve pissed away you money again and claim fans demanding another reunion.

Fuck! Almost a Darwin Award Winner

From Bink.nu:

A 14 year old boy from Brevard, North Carolina was nearly killed Sunday while trying to stop his Xbox 360 from overheating.

The boy’s mother told local news that his Xbox 360 kept turning itself off after about 5 minutes. Her son had read online that he could stop it from cutting off by cooling the power supply. “I saw him put the cord on top of a box in the living room”, said the boy’s mother. “When I left to go next door he was playing a game but when I got back he was laying on his back on the floor and unconscious”.

While his mother was away the boy had taken the power supply and wrapped it in plastic and tape. In an attempt to cool it off, he submerged it into a pan of water with the cord still plugged in. The boy had regained consciousness by the time paramedics had arrived. He was taken to the Transylvania Community Hospital in Brevard where he spent the night.
Aside from getting knocked unconscious the boy only suffered small burns to his right hand and foot.’

And I thought l337 speak was bollocks

I must be getting older.

“Appz” and “warez” I can handle. 1337 speak has always meant a twat typing, but I can put up with that, but what the fuck is going on now?

Every forum you go own has posts like “Firebird pwnz joo”. What the fuck is that?

Yes I know it comes from a spelling mistake in Quake or some other crap game, but what the fuck does it mean?

And now porn has become pr0n.

And n00b? What happened to newbie? Oh great trick, if a newbie asks for ops on the IRC, tell them to press ALT+F4 🙂 Works every time and I never tire of it 🙂

Is it a generation thing? An example of shite English lesson across the world? Or is it, as I expect, another bunch of spotty 12 year adolescent pricks trying to look l337-ish, for the five minutes of the day they aren’t wanking over a crumpled Penthouse mag?

Fucking Amiga Owners

Do you know what the APC stands for? I didn’t either, but it’s one of the nuggets of trivia that stay locked in my head until the time it’s needed. It stands for the Amiga Persecution Complex and it generally means that the fanatical, and I do mean fanatical, followers of the Amiga blame anything and everything for the demise of the Amiga, except Commodore.

Let’s face the facts here, the Amiga died because Commodore and subsequent owners of the the Amiga technologies didn’t move with the times. There is a subtle difference between rehashing old technology and creating new technology. Ok AGA was an advance, but was not good enough and people wanted more.

There you go, that’s the reason in a nutshell, and naturally Amiga fanatics blame… *drum roll please* Microsoft. See the logic we’re dealing with?

I’ve got rid of my Amiga, and in a manner I thought best represented it… I threw it in a recycle bin, in the hope it will come back as something more useful… like a fire alarm.

The Amiga is dead. Technology moves on. Keep the happy memories instead of this half arsed fundamentalist retro attitude that these retards on EAB have.

Costs are rising already

olympics_2012_thumb[1]Well didn’t take long for the news that the Olympics are going to cost more than planned. Planned. Yeah fucking alien word in this country!

Who can remember the on time and on budget Channel Tunnel? Or the Millennium Dome? Or the new Wembley Stadium?

Look on the brightside, we’ve still got six years for the us the taxpayers to bail the whole sorry fucking mess out of the shit it’ll undoubtedly sink in.

Millennium building finally finished!

Another triumph of UK engineering! A triumph in a Millennium Dome, Channel Tunnel, Wembley Stadium kind of way.

After going over budget by £11 million and being completed five years late, the Spinnaker Tower in Portsmouth was opened!

To celebrate this new structure being open to the public, the previous Sunday there was a blessing for the tower, and it must have worked as on it’s first day the glass elevator jammed 100 meters off the ground with some more bloke stuck inside.

So hurray for the builders eh.

There’s just something about this country when it comes to big building projects that we simply can’t finish it on time, on budget and without it being a fucking waste of tax-payers money!!

Still at least the people of Portsmouth can see where their hike in council taxes are going to go at least. Excuse me while I stifle a laugh.

Stupid people having accidents in the UK

stupid_people_thumb[1]Stupid people in this world need some sort of protection. These are just some examples of what hospitals have to deal with each year.

    • Eating and drinking caused 42,000 casualties.

 

  • The harmless looking slipper caused 37,000 injuries to cretins.

 

 

  • That innocent looking flower make look safe, but that don’t stop them injury 3,500 a year.

 

 

  • Tissue paper injured over 1,500 people. Bet they were all teenagers wanking over a copy of Razzle.

 

 

  • Clothes pegs and BLU-TACK kill several people.

 

 

  • 14 people are seriously injured by mushrooms.

 

 

  • Eggs kill 17 idiots a year.

 

 

  • 95 hurt by wooden spoons.

 

 

  • 103 by frying pans.

 

 

  • 40 by cheese.

 

 

  • 398 people injured while falling off toilets. I know the feeling…stop straining so much is my advice.

 

 

  • 4,400 people are injured every year pulling on their trousers!

 

 

  • 6,585 accidents are caused by socks/tights.

 

 

  • Pyjamas cause 768 injuries a year.

 

 

  • Dressing gowns 691.

 

 

  • 12,170 people were injured by vegetables.

 

 

  • 520 ice cream related accidents each year.

 

 

  • Magazines inflict nearly 3,000 injuries.

 

 

  • Toothbrushes knobble 500 victims.

 

 

  • Cotton buds can claim an astonishing 880 victims.

 

 

  • Christmas tree lights kill 80 people a year (or in one month presumably).

 

 

  • The humble personal stereo kills 80 people a year.

 

 

  • Hardhats were involved in 214 home or leisure accidents.

 

 

  • Saucepans were involved in 262.

 

 

  • 67,000 people go to casualty departments every year because of accidents with packaging.

 

 

Remember that these fuckwitts are allowed to vote!