An olive branch to @joecienkowski

Hi Peachy,

We’ve not always seen eye to eye with what you say on Twitter, or anywhere else for that matter but I want to reach out and help you.

I’m incredibly sad that your blog is no longer up and running, and I understand that it can be costly hosting a free blog with free hosting on wordpress.com, so I want to help you.

Your message is so deep and profound, it needs more than 140 character messages for you to expand on your, let’s say unorthodox approach.

I am offering free of charge to set up and host a blog for you. All you have to do is edit your DNS records on your domain host, and I will set you up a WordPress blog and secure it for you. If you have any other requirements or software, I will install it for you.

After I’ve secured it, you will be the only user with 100% control of the backend, not even I will have access.

Just say the word and it can be up and running in 24 hours.

Tumblrtards : Otherkin

In my continuing series of combating depression by browsing the internet, I once again turn to Tumblr, home of the biggest bunch of special, narcissist fuckwitts.

We all love animals, I know I do… except cats. They can fuck right off. But let me introduce you to Otherkin.

Otherkin are people who think they are animals trapped in a human body, because being a plain old boring human being just doesn’t get the attention these idiots people crave, but let me give you a random example of what this is about. Brace yourself, this is going to blow your mind.

the lack of side vision that a human head has is so frustrating for me as a horse kin/therian. so is the lack of ability to tilt my ears! and hands and feet just don’t feel the same as the hooves i miss

facepalm-single

Yes, this wazzock is missing binocular vision, because you know, reasons.

Oh, and I might have misled you a little, when I said “animals trapped in a human body”, I actually meant “anything trapped in human form.” How about:

I’m the same as those 2 modern vampkin but I’m werewolfkin!

facepalm-double

Think someone might have been watching too much Twilight.

Name an animal, it’s out there: tigerkin, lionkin, dragonkin, all animals that are strong, powerful and graceful. But what if you have self-esteem issues? What if you’re a socially inept 40kg weaking living in your parents basement, they’ve got you covered. Meet slugkin.

Okay so im annoyed. I wish more people would be more inclusive of slugkin, you might think slugs are gross but you cant just discriminate!!

facepalm-triple

Does salt trigger you by any chance? Unsurprisingly, I couldn’t find any people identifying as a dung beetle, but give it time.

Some animals or whatever random shit these people think they are, have limited timespans. I mean if you are a hamsterkin, you’re going to be dead in three or four years. What happens then? Well that’s been thought of as well:

my kintype died and then came back as a ghost with a completely different personality and look. And its the hardest thing ever to describe him

Writing this shit, I’ve gone from pissing myself laughing to having so many facepalms that it looks like I’ve been involved in domestic violence.

But reading Tumblr, it makes me glad I’m me. I might suffer from depression and anxiety. I might avoid social situations like the plague, but never, even in the darkest pits of hell that my mind takes me, have I ever thought I might be a fucking slug.

Check out the Tumblrtards at http://kinfessions.tumblr.com and http://fictionkinfessions.tumblr.com.

Clangers – the reboot

“It’s the only show that he would sit and watch and be quiet” says me Mum when she heard the Clangers were returning this month to television.

Yes I’m 43, but it’s 5:30pm and I’m transported back to a five year old sat on the carpet staring at knitted pink deformed elephants with swanee whistles for voices.

When I heard they were remaking the Clangers, I dreaded some computer generated bollocks, like Thunderbirds, but pleasantly surprised they’ve kept with the original style of stop frame animation.

And Michael Palin as the narrator? Genius.

Seeing Granny, Major, Mother, Tiny and Small again on the screen makes me happy, and reminds me of a time in my life when I was vaguely happier, before real life came along and shat all over it.

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Joe Cienkowski talks bollocks #24 : Obama and slandering Islam quotemine

Wow! That’s a hell of a quote, what do you think the odds are that that’s been taken completely out of context? I know, ninth commandment and all that.

So what did Obama ACTUALLY say in that speech?

The future must not belong to those who slander the prophet of Islam. But to be credible, those who condemn that slander must also condemn the hate we see in the images of Jesus Christ that are desecrated, or churches that are destroyed, or the Holocaust that is denied.

Gee, who saw that coming?

YAFS (Yet another Facebook scam) … allegedly

WARNING!

Facebook planning to start scanning your brain for private information through your computer monitor.

To stop this from happening, go to Kitchen -> Cabinets -> Upper Right Drawer -> then REMOVE the box that says ‘Aluminium Foil.’

Then wrap all foil around your head.

Share this to warn all your friends.

Sorry, I forgotten where I saw this originally 🙁