50 shades of grey. Almost.

I was sent this by a developer in the office, from the SASS file for a web app.

/* greys */
$grey1: #DEDEDE;
$grey2: #CCCCCC;
$grey3: #333333;
$grey4: #666666;
$grey5: #999999;
$grey6: #f7f7f8;
$grey7: #dddddd;
$grey8: #eeeeee;
$grey9: #777777;
$grey10: #f5f5f5;
$grey11: #f9f9f9;
$grey12: #e8e8e8;
$grey13: #e5e5e5;
$grey14: #555555;
$grey15: #737373;
$grey16: #e6e6e6;
$grey17: #adadad;
$grey18: #262626;
$grey19: #f8f8f8;
$grey20: #e7e7e7;
$grey21: #888888;
$grey22: #222222;
$grey23: #080808;
$grey24: #9d9d9d;
$grey25: #4A4A4A;
$grey26: #101010;
$grey27: #d5d5d5;
$grey28: #e3e3e3;
$grey29: #ebebeb;
$grey30: #bbbbbb;
$grey31: #efefef;

Notice the wonderful concise and informative referencing of the classes, easy reference was not top of the priority list I presume. But this is what happens when you are sent PDF’s from the designer.

Laughing at funny foreigners

As much as I hate to laugh at people who can’t speak English, and I do find broken English incredibly adorable when I’m speaking to my European friends, I have to admit to moments where I’ve had to stop what I am doing because I’m laughing to hard.

I don’t mean having to learn north, south, east, west, left, right, front, behind in Romanian and Ukrainian because my friends get very confused (re drunk) playing an online game.

From experience I find the Romanians to be the most hilarious, and they pick up words from films and television and then write the words out phonetically, for example, ‘health’ will be typed as ‘healph’ , ‘heapf’ or ‘helfph.’

For extra lulz, ask them to pronouce a word that end in ‘th.’ That sound isn’t in the Romanian language so asking one to say ‘teeth’ leads to much amusement on my part as their tongue does gymnastics to get that sound and leads to a conversion of shouting ‘teeth’ being repeated a lot.

So rewind a few weeks, and I was talking to my friends on TeamSpeak while playing Armored Warfare with Romanian friends. We somehow got onto the subject of tattoos, as one of their girlfriends wanted to get one of a ‘dan-dill-lee-on.’ There was a short pause as I tried to make sense of this mangled word. ‘A what?’  ‘A dan-dill-lee-on. You know the… er… plant you blow on (cue a ear shattering sound as he blows into the microphone) and er… floating things.’ Oh you mean a dandelion. ‘Yes dan-dill-lee-on.’ I had to walk away because I was laughing so much, right in the middle of a game.

‘Sorry I disconnect. Fuck-king Were-les.’ No, it is ‘why-er-less.’

‘Wee-Fee’ when he means ‘why-fi.’

Just stop speaking English until you can speak it properly you daft twat 🙂

Oh you know I’m joking my dear friends.

MAMP Pro to the cloud

After my my Mac decided to fuck up after installing Sierra, it gave me a chance to reorganise my shit as I forgot to backup my MAMP Pro installation, so I had to rebuild all 20+ web sites and databases from scratch. Not doing this again as it’s a right pain in the ass.

So after playing around a bit, I’ve moved the htdocs folder and the MySQL databases to Dropbox. I could use iCloud but I’m not installing that shit on my Workstation PC at home.

Before we go to Terminal, make sure MAMP and your MySQL management tool (phpmyadmin/Sequel Pro/Workbench) of choice is closed.

Copying the databases

If you want to use another cloud storage solution, here are the default install path for iCloud:
~/Library/Mobile\ Documents/com~apple~CloudDocs/

Google Drive:
~/Google\ Drive/

Microsoft OneDrive:
~/OneDrive/

Just replace the Dropbox path in these examples. So let’s copy the databases folder to Dropbox in a folder called MAMP_db.

cp -r /Library/Application\ Support/appsolute/MAMP\ PRO/db ~/Dropbox/MAMP_db

Rename the default folder to something else

mv /Library/Application\ Support/appsolute/MAMP\ PRO/db /Library/Application\ Support/appsolute/MAMP\ PRO/delete_db

Create a symbolic link to the new folder.

ln -s ~/Dropbox/MAMP_DB /Library/Application\ Support/appsolute/MAMP\ PRO/db

Now start MAMP Pro and wait to see if MySQL loads without errors. I double checked by loading Sequel Pro to see if my databases were there.

If you want to use iCloud instead, use

If that was a success, we can now move the web sites.

Copying the htdocs

Exactly the same commands, just a different folder.

cp -r /Applications/MAMP/htdocs ~/Dropbox/MAMP_htdocs
mv /Applications/MAMP/htdocs /Applications/MAMP/delete_htdocs
ln -s ~/Dropbox/MAMP_htdocs /Applications/MAMP/htdocs

Load MAMP Pro and click localhost and hey presto.

I did this on a fresh installation, and when tried to access localhost I got a Forbidden 403 error. All I did was make a new host and it worked fine.

My wallpaper collection

With no inspiration to write a rant, here’s a quick and dirty post to fill in the big gap on my WordPress post calendar.

I have a Design RSS feed which occasionally has something useful in there that doesn’t relate to massaging a rockstar/ninja/wizard (or any other adjective to describe these narcessitic fuckers) designers, like some nice images for background wallpapers.

This is wgere my OCD kicks in, but I like a consistent look across my desktop machine at home, my work Mac Book Pro and my work’s Mac Book Pro, so I have a folder on my OneDrive that has 300+ images that rotate every 20 minutes or so across the board.

So rather than doing the blindingly obvious and sharing that folder, I’ve copied them to My Google Photos and shared that as well. Why make life easy huh?

So click here to see my appalling taste and nerdiness in background wallpapers.

Three of life’s little irritants

I have a list of annoyances in life with people that really tip me over the edge. Things that turn me from happy to furious in the blink of an eye.

Lying

They say honesty is the best policy, well apparently not when you are dealing with fucking idiots on the internet. It’s why I log everything I say on the internet, just on the off chance that some fucker decides six months down the line, that I said something which I know I didn’t. My memory is shot to pieces about many things, but I do remember what I’ve said and not said in my head, and thankfully I have gigabytes of text files going back to my days on IRC in the 1990’s to prove it.

Yeah, I should have a clear out one day.

On time

If I can take the trouble of being on time for something, then why can’t anyone else? If people are five minutes late, I’ll either fuck off home or go elsewhere.

The art of conversation

The internet is killing the art and etiquette of conversation.

Imagine you are in a bar. You see a friend and you start a conversation. You are in the middle of saying something and then this friend just fucks off with no warning. You wouldn’t do it would you? So why the fuck do people do it on instant messaging. What happened to saying “I’ll be back in a moment” or “I have to go”? I just had an example of someone asking me why deleted a message from yesterday. I said it was crap and asked how they were. Oh they’ve fucked off. Great.

Maybe it’s because I was brought up properly by my parents, but these things really boil my piss and I’m getting more and more intolerant of people.

I’ve dropped friends I’ve known for decades if they’ve fucked me off enough, so I have absolutely no guilt about telling someone I’ve known for a few months to fuck off.

Computers in Hollywood, never realistic… but fucking Jurassic Park is the worst.

You have a Velociraptor bashing (no pun intended) at the door, you need to lock the doors quick as it’s only Sam Neill holding the nasty little fucks back.

So what method do you think the brains behind Jurassic Park decided would be the best way to secure a big fucking metal door.

  1. A fucking lock on the door?
  2. A switch next to the door to lock it?
  3. A fucking archaic Unix graphic file browser where you have a 3D representation of the file structure, and you have to find the program to lock the doors?

Of course, it’s number three. For fuck’s sake.

Just interested in where the fire alarm is, the parent folder?

It is actually a real piece of software called FSN, or Fusion by Silicon Graphics.

Tomorrow you wake up as the opposite sex. What’s the first thing you’ll do?

This came up today on my Facebook page.

44e3c63d0a6152896fd0e3127b014b7d

I just happened to mention it in work this afternoon during the “funny hour” that seems to happen from 3pm to 4pm.

In the blink of an eye, without any break in silence, someone, and she will rename nameless, shouted out “have a wank!”

I was in tears of laughter as it was unexpected from someone who is apparently so professional.